it has been a while since I have posted on my blog, i apologize for that, whoever is reading this. but that does not mean I have stopped writing. in fact, over the past 2 months I have written more than ever. I have been struggling with my health and find lots of time to express my feelings, because of the hospital stays and appointments. through this tough time I have discovered who my true friends are, as cliche as that sounds. the ones who are real friends are my daily encouragement and are always sending positive thoughts my way. I have become very dependent on them. but even more so, I am clinging to Jesus. at times, I can feel his warm grasp on me as well, but other times he feels like a stone cold statue. I continue to pray to feel his love during this trial of my life.
however, I know that pain is only a place.
my eyes open, I don't recognize anyone at all.
poked, proded, and tied down, they ask me if I took a fall.
my lips quiver, no sound escapes.
my body shakes with no control. the sirens sound, tears flood my eyes.
God can't I just have a break?
Satan, please just let go of my soul?
my parents meet us at the hospital, their faces, they cannot bear the emotional pain.
I am stable and can return home, but I have never felt so alone.
the pain of my seizures will stay at the hospital. for I know pain is only a place.
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